"White Flag"

"White Flag"

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you,
Or tell you that.
But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it
where's the sense in that?

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess and
destruction to come back again
And I caused nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of "it's over"
then I'm sure that that makes sense

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

And when we meet
Which I'm sure we will
All that was there
Will be there still
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on....

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

What hurts the Most

"What Hurts The Most"

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do
It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you
That’s what I was trying to do

My ideals, my inspiration!

Forever I had my ideals but it was not until someone really inspired me to be the person who I am. I am asked whether I am kind of reserved person. No, I am kind of an inspired person looking forward to the person who I am waiting for and who is waiting for me as per the written destiny.

What that person taught me was to be patient and never spoil my emotions and my sanctity until I am not sure that its now my destiny.

I still cherish you..

Deep inside my heart while laying on my couch before going into deep slumber I pity myself "what a loser I am and what a fool I have been?". Its the way I cherish you every night. I confess the curiosity and the intensity has fallen down but I cannot for a moment accept that someone could ever and will ever replace you. I deserved you, yet I am the loser I am. By losing you nothing must have changed for you but for me it has been hell. I lost my confidence and foremost the inspiration. I will never be what I was when you were there for me. You explored the pinnacle of the best I could be.

I remember the moments of dispersal and that of my folly. I intentionally kept you away from me till the time the gap became too much. You know I tried to redeem myself but I just could not do it. So now like poets this is now my evergreen hobby to vent my frustration and grief with writing proses in your honor. I hope Allah would not mind this.

I hear about you again

My curiosity has not yet died down even after years. A clue helped me find her prosperous. I heard that she and her sister were married in the same family. Her husband is a Captain in Army. So now you are the army woman, grown yet more authoritative.

My messenger tells me her mother had the decision to marry them to her nephews. I remember you once said to me "you don't worry, at least you will know if anything happens to me". I was waiting for your that consolation to materialize but that moment never came.

Things were wrong from the start, though I accept the major part of responsibility. Yet you had to intimate the critical incidents and the trigger points, that could potentially break us apart. Alas, you didn't do. I understand it would have been hell for you but it was important for us.

You must be happy and content with your life but we deserved each other. We had ideals for each other in ourselves. I didn't lose you alone. I lost my ideals, my inspiration, my energy, my momentum. I lost my pride, my confidence and my struggle. Now I have transformed into a dumb and dull person; without any words, without any charm. I lost my reason to be happy, my reason to smile.

I saw her for the last time

So the time came when it was obvious that destiny was breaking us apart. I tried for the last time to salvage something or at least give a face saving finesse to my painful heart break. She didn't stop from nodding, still didn't honor our rapport. I had to return without even a few appropriate words spoken. Next day was the photo session. We were not in the same section now and so did not have the chance to have a snap together. My indignant ego too was curtailing the saying good bye right from me and so a worthless love story ended in distaste. Next time I am going to see you, I will not be able to endure your mesmerizing looks.