A toast to the Incarnation of Beauty – My Sweetheart Sadaf Ismat

I remember I first saw her when she was waiting for her transport outside the nursing gate hostel. Saeed as usual passed a witty comment that she must be sister of some nurse. He continued further that he pitied the lives of such people and blaw blaw blaw.

I had a chance of grabbing preeminence in class and that was when I opted to debut for the firstever presentation in class. The presentation was not complete success but it boosted my reputation. I had several incidental things adding to my reputation and amongst all the jealous resentment of Yasir Amin. Girls started considering me dependable. Among boys my group too supported me sheepishly. Sadaf used to promote my CRship overzealously, despite the fact that I had lost in the prior elections. Yet every teacher treated me as if I was the CR of the class. The motives were personal. It sought increased interaction between her and me. It was desperate effort to win some notice.

She started becoming popular for her beauty in the meanwhile and the epidemic spread. I didn’t realize her enchanting beauty until the end of the first semester, where then I was completely entrapped. I however, championed the right to claim her mine in order to shun others. This was the time when I started behaving oddly. I started thinking myself to be deviant of the family norms; in the event of being participative and cooperative. I thought it to unbecoming of a good kid. I therefore abandoned all the other connections with class-fellows except Muneeba (we hadn’t been intimate to this point yet). Sadaf took it very positively and started trusting me. It had added to her advantage that she could interact with me because she was fast friend of her. Her indirect style of interaction was perhaps not that she was reluctant but rather more sophisticated. She gave me her email as well and seldom wrote comprehensive notes for me from the lectures, which I used to bunk. In the meanwhile, gazes initiated (which continued until the demise of the adventure). She started supporting my opinions staunchly and even tried to involve me in one of her personal problem. To her utter surprise, I responded very coldly. She didn’t take notice of it and regarded it my indifference to the privacy of others.

In exams we cooperated to the best of our ability, keeping in mind we have had never lengthy discussions and chats to know each other stances and views about each other. Nevertheless, it was the best of telepathy ever I could imagine. One day she helped with the objectives of Pakistan study and I topped that paper in the overall test. The next day it was my turn and I tried to the best I could but all in vein. Our instructor (which I later discovered to be seeking her attention) was the main hurdle.

At the end of the paper we used to discuss the proceedings in the doors and that was the only cherished exchange I have at my nostalgia. In the last paper she took the liberty a step further and waited for me in a visible but secluded part of the building. I did not respond to the advance and she felt humiliated. I had given her an impression of disregard, which however discussed earlier was the reluctance on part of my perceived deviance from the family norms that I laid waste of the temptation.